Freebie Fridays · Video Games

Freebie Friday’s: Totally Accurate Zombielator

I have over 50 games on Steam redeemed via a key from Giveways. Allot of them suck, and this is just one of them.

I don’t usually like to jump on the bandwagon when it comes to popular games. When Five Nights at Freddie’s was hitting it’s abnormally massive peak in popularity, the most I’d played of the series was less than 4 minutes of the first game on a tablet – the games just don’t resonate with me. Totally Accurate Battle Simulator is one of the newer crazes when it’s comes to the indie scene… and I’ve yet to play anymore of it than I already have. Truth be told, it’s a silly joke stretched out way past it’s prime, a semi-solid premise with ho-hum execution – but that shouldn’t stop you from trying it, especially when you can get it for free right now. When April Fools rolled around, the developers decided it would be funny if they made a satirical piece about all the Open-World-Online-Zombie-Survival Games clogging up the release charts, with the majority of them not even finished yet.

It’s a funny premise, so I gave it a try. 6 minutes later, I left wondering why I’d spent my time with it at all. Surprisingly enough, when you have a First Person game where your character moves around by ragdolling in unexpected ways, the results are going to come across far lower than should be expected. The short time I played with TABZ was infuriatingly slow, and this is coming from someone who can watch 2016’s Arrival without complaining about the snail’s pacing. This is to say nothing about the games zombies, which are also infuriating to deal with. Since this is mocking a survival game, guns are supposed to be rare, with melee weapons lying around like everybody had a new year’s party by directly murdering the person next to them. The combat in this game is clunky as all hell, and I got into far more of it than I should have within the time I played it. Considering how unabashedly slow and bizarre the movement is, whether I hit an enemy or not with the Fire Axe I picked up was a total gamble, and not a fun one at that. To credit this joke-game, however, the world is quite pretty, giving off a beautiful atmosphere despite the whole thing being done as a quick gag.

And that pretty much describes it. It was made to be a quick gag, and it clearly shows. The gameplay is nothing short of abysmal, but the visual style these developers have really is something to behold. Despite it being a gag, I find it funny that this was distributed through Steam Keys, as if the devs are hoping to revisit it one day. Maybe one day, if the player base isn’t as extinct as the Dinosaurs in the coming months, I’ll revisit it and get different impressions, but for now, I dread the thought of spending another second with this.

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